Diana Naehrig

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Finding your purpose

Finding one's purpose and acting on it, I believe, is one of the most important quests in life. It is correlated with happiness, resilience and wellbeing. People may have more than one purpose depending on the context. And, I suspect our purpose may change, at least slightly, throughout our life.

Finding my purpose certainly was, and still is an iterative process. Generally, I thought it was 'helping people', which no doubt led to my studying medicine half a lifetime ago. Over the years, I've realised I needed to slightly refine my purpose. Currently, I would define it as 'helping people help themselves'. My belief is that every one of us is essentially equipped with everything we need to help - and to an extent even to heal - ourselves. This may sound somewhat fantastical, however, I think there is something rather comforting in believing that people are, and can become empowered and enabled to act on their own behalf; for the benefit of their mind, body and spirit. The beauty of coaching is that the client is supported in (re-) discovering that agency, or in psychological terms the 'self-efficacy', to be able to improve their own situation and align their effort with what deeply matters to them.

Enough about me. So, where does that leave you and your purpose? Lucky you, if you know what it is and you are living accordingly. For those who have not figured this out yet, positive psychology researchers (Todd Kashdan and colleagues) have identified three main avenues to find purpose: 

  1. Proactive - This means you actively choose to search for, find and engage with your purpose. This can include self-reflection or enlisting a professional to help you with this process.
  2. Reactive - Something happens in your life that kicks you out of a deep sleep, forces your eyes open and makes you take a good hard look at yourself. This often can be a loss of some sort, for example your health, freedom, relationship or job. It may also be a positive event such as becoming a parent.
  3. Social learning - Observing and learning how others live their lives. It might include admiring someone for how they act and wanting to emulate that, or having a role model to aspire to.

And yes, sometimes it will be a combination of the above. If you still find this somewhat daunting, or you decide you want to engage with your purpose now, what are you waiting for? Get the support you need, and get to work!